there's a hole in my bucket list

When we would drive to visit my grandparents we would beg our daddy to sing the song "There's a Hole in the Bucket." You know the one....there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza. Well, mend it dear Henry. With what shall I fix it?...the conversation going back and forth until finally the wife tells Henry to fetch the water needed in the bucket to which Henry replies, "But there's a hole in the  bucket, dear Liza!"

http://www.nursery-rhymes-collection.com/lyrics_theres_a_hole_in_my_bucket.html

Anyway, every once in a while it comes up..."what's on your bucket list?" I have never seen the movie, but I know it means what do you want to do before you kick the bucket. Just today I came across a blog post called "list of dreams" where the blogger actually made a list of 100 things she wanted to do (though she only posted 5, but I like the fact that it ran the gamut of something big like drinking expresso on a sidewalk café in Paris to something small like baking a yellow cake from scratch). I occasionally have tried to make a bucket list, but don't get far. Is it because I'm lazy or because I'm uninspired or because I already have what I want ... I guess my bucket has a hole in it. Nothing's in it.

So let's try this again.

Do I want to travel anywhere? Not really. I am a homebody.

I'm mildly interested in seeing Mt. Rushmore but it's in the middle of nowhere so why would I bother to go there? (see I'm lazy)

Anywhere else? Well, the only other thing I can think of is maybe a few genealogy related trips. That would put me mostly in New York, which I find intimidating (but I used to live there...and was actually born there, and yet going to Brooklyn and Long Island seems ehausting and scary). Maybe I would want a little time in Ohio and then I would need a South and North Carolina trip. Can I actually see me doing it? No.

Maybe by deciding if an item would actually be doable isn't what I'm supposed to do when making a bucket list. So, maybe a genealogy trip should be on the list, but I can't get past the fact that my budget and energy and fears limit me.

What experiences do I want? Sky diving, bungee jumping, and the like? No way. I'm afraid of heights and now that I'm a mother I don't believe in participating in anything more dangerous than chauffering my kids around.

I used to want to learn to fly an airplane. I thought that'd be really cool. Now, not so much. I find the idea exhausting? not worth the effort? just not as exciting?

Do I want to meet anybody famous? No. I would say some Church leaders, but 1) I don't want to waste their time and 2) I would be afraid that they could like right through me and see all my faults, so I think I would actually feel uncomfortable (I'm still working on how I'm ever going to face God some day).

I do have a list of books I want to read. Funny, now that I'm trying to list them, none are coming to mind.

And I have wishes that I sometimes work on: improving my piano skills, my Spanish skills, my health. But how do I translate those into bucket-list items? Because I certainly don't want to perform in front of anybody so there's no "playing at Carnegie Hall" on my list.

I do want to serve a mission or two with Glen when we are at the appropriate time in our lives (earliest would be in 8 years when our youngest would leave on his mission...wow, that sounds so close).

OK. I have finally hit upon a real item: serve a mission or two with my husband.

I can list some things I want: a new kitchen floor, new carpeting, a gazelle for exercising, but that's not what you put on a bucket list.

I just want to live a quiet life, taking care of my responsibilities, enjoying my family and friends. What more could I want? Can't think of anything. So, I guess it's OK that my bucket list is essentially empty. I will gladly take the experiences that come and hopefully enjoy them and not worry that I don't have too many ambitions. I will read, occasionally play the piano, and speak to myself in Spanish. And serve some missions with my husband.

The other things I hope for aren't in my power: seeing my kids happily married and raising families (and in these hard economic times I want to add them being employeed to the list).

I'll just enjoy what comes my way.


Beth's Bucket List:

1-serve a mission or two with Glen

2-live a long and healthy life so I can enjoy and serve my family and friends

3-Not worry about what's on my bucket list

deadline met/new career choice?

I have my life back. sigh.

The thing is, I was the one who voluntarily (sort of) gave my life away--for free--to someone who is an acquaintance--who doesn't have any real ties to me other than being from my church. I say sort of voluntarily because I couldn't say no, even though I would have preferred not to have been involved in the project at first. It did turn out to be an interesting experience, but was it really worth all the hours I spent on it? Don't know. But it was fun and a new experience.

I have spent countless hours...all my free time in October...editing a 308 page manuscript for someone. OK, if I were going to try and count...at least 40 hours this week as I spent all day yesterday and today on it...so maybe 80-100 hours all together. This is some Personal Progress project.

My house is neglected, but that's nothing new. My brain is expanded, and that's always good. My hair might be greyer more grey. My husband might be wishing he'd never spoken those words, "My wife likes to read. I think she'd be a great proofreader." My kids will be thrilled now that the laptop won't be in my lap all the time. I will be noticing how colons are used and capitalization of military words and numbers in everything I read.

So, I've decided, though it might have been stressful, it's was also kind of nice...and both for the same reason: pointing out mistakes. Think about it...proofreaders get paid to point out the mistakes of others. And some of us have been doing that for free for years when we could have gotten paid for it.

Sometimes it was easy to find what was wrong and fix it. Here's where the stress comes in: other times it was very difficult. I would know something wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out how to make it better. Coming up with 24 different ways to say the word "target" or "maneuver." And to make these changes but still try to keep the author's voice in there is not easy. (this is informal writing so I feel it's OK to start sentences with "and" and to have fragments parade as sentences, too)

So, I think I could have been a proofreader/editor in an alternate reality. I would need to keep a masseuse on retainer, though. Don't know if they make enough money to do that.

I occasionally think about other careers that would have worked for me. I think I would have like to have been an accountant. I love numbers. But, since I don't really know what an account does (it may be nothing like balancing my checkbook at all), maybe that isn't a wise choice for me.

I think being a genealogist would have worked as well. Except, once again, neck and shoulder massages would be necessary.

A research scientist could have been a good choice for me. Except I never would have been able to narrow down what to research. I love so many things.

And, there isn't much money in it, but being a professional student would have been nice too.

"Reader One, out." or is that "Reader One. Out"? (did you know that's the only time when punctuation is placed outside the quotation mark is when the whole is a question but not what is being quoted? You learn lots of things as a proofreader)

Conference Squares Bingo

I was in charge of Sharing Time today in Primary. Since we had our big Children's Sacrament Meeting Presentation today, I did not do a regular sharing time lesson, but had a General Conference Recap. I printed Bingo cards using as a template the "Conference Squares" page from lds.org:

http://lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/pdf/conference_squares.pdf

I made a few changes to the squares to fit the topics of theApostles' talks from this past General Conference, and I added 5 music squares for singing time. I had it run slightly differently for Junior than for Senior Primary. In Junior, they tossed a beanbag to choose the square. In Senior Primary I read a quote from conference and they had to guess which square they were supposed to mark off on their page. Then I told the who said the quote.

Here are the quotes I used, along with the "square" item from the bingo card (talks can be accessed at http://lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2011/10?lang=eng ).

1-Elder Scott: The Power of Scripture (scripture)

Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world.

Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship.

A memorized scripture becomes an enduring friend that is not weakened with the passage of time.

2-Pres. Thomas S. Monson: As We Meet Again (temple)

I have mentioned in previous conferences the progress we are making in placing temples closer to our members. Although they are readily available to many members in the Church, there are still areas of the world where temples are so distant from our members that they cannot afford the travel required to get to them. They are thus unable to partake of the sacred and eternal blessings temples provide. To help in this regard, we have available what is called the General Temple Patron Assistance Fund. This fund provides a one-time visit to the temple for those who otherwise would not be able to go to the temple and yet who long desperately for that opportunity. Any who might wish to contribute to this fund can simply write in the information on the normal contribution slip which is given to the bishop each month.

3-Pres. Packer: Counsel to Youth (Holy Ghost)

Perhaps the single greatest thing I learned from reading the Book of Mormon is that the voice of the Spirit comes as a feeling rather than a sound. You will learn, as I have learned, to “listen” for that voice that is felt rather than heard.

The gift of the Holy Ghost, if you consent, will guide and protect you and even correct your actions. It is a spiritual voice that comes into the mind as a thought or a feeling put into your heart.

4-Pres. Uchtdorf: You Matter to Him (Heavenly Father)

This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God.

The great deceiver knows that one of his most effective tools in leading the children of God astray is to appeal to the extremes of the paradox of man. To some, he appeals to their prideful tendencies, puffing them up and encouraging them to believe in the fantasy of their own self-importance and invincibility. He leads them to conclude that they are therefore not subject to anyone else’s rules and not to be bothered by anyone else’s problems.

 Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten—especially by God.

My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him!

 5-Elder Bednar: The Hearts of the Children Shall Turn (family history)

The Prophet Joseph Smith declared: “The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead.”

I now invite the attention of the young women, young men, and children of the rising generation as I emphasize the importance of the Spirit of Elijah [family history work] in your lives today. My message is intended for the entire Church in general—but for you in particular.

Many of you may think family history work is to be performed primarily by older people. But I know of no age limit described in the scriptures or guidelines announced by Church leaders restricting this important service to mature adults. You are sons and daughters of God, children of the covenant, and builders of the kingdom. You need not wait until you reach an arbitrary age to fulfill your responsibility to assist in the work of salvation for the human family.

I invite the young people of the Church to learn about and experience the Spirit of Elijah. I encourage you to study, to search out your ancestors, and to prepare yourselves to perform proxy baptisms in the house of the Lord for your kindred dead (see D&C 124:28-36). And I urge you to help other people identify their family histories.

6-Elder Neil L.Andersen: Children (family)

It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children.

The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father’s plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture reads, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” In our day prophets and apostles have declared, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.

Families are central to God’s eternal plan. I testify of the great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities.

7-Elder D. Todd Christofferson: The Divine Gift of Repentance (gift)

Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace. Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.

Repentance exists as an option only because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is His infinite sacrifice that “bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance” (Alma 34:15). Repentance is the necessary condition, and the grace of Christ is the power by which “mercy can satisfy the demands of justice”

8-Elder L. Tom Perry: Perfect Love Castest Out Fear (testimony)

While the Church is becoming more visible, there are still many people who do not understand it.

There are a number of things that we can do—that you can do—to advance an understanding of the Church. If we do it with the same spirit and if we conduct ourselves in the same way we do when we host a temple open house, our friends and our neighbors will come to understand us better. Their suspicions will evaporate, negative stereotypes will disappear, and they will begin to understand the Church as it really is.

First, we must be bold in our declaration of Jesus Christ
Second, be righteous examples to others.
Next, speak up about the Church.

I promise you that if you will respond to the invitation to share your beliefs and feelings about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a spirit of love and a spirit of courage will be your constant companion, for “perfect love casteth out fear”

9-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: We Are All Enlisted (missionary work)

I am looking tonight for men young and old who care enough about this battle between good and evil to sign on and speak up. We are at war.

No, we want battalions who will take as their weapons “every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God.” So I am looking tonight for missionaries who will not voluntarily bind their tongues but will, with the Spirit of the Lord and the power of their priesthood, open their mouths and speak miracles.

10-Pres Uchtdorf: Providing in the Lord’s Way (fast offering)

While it is important to have our thoughts inclined toward heaven, we miss the essence of our religion if our hands are not also inclined toward our fellowman.

Our spiritual progress is inseparably bound together with the temporal service we give to others.

The Lord’s way has always included self-reliance and service to our neighbor in addition to caring for the poor.

The Lord’s way is not to sit at the side of the stream and wait for the water to pass before we cross. It is to come together, roll up our sleeves, go to work, and build a bridge or a boat to cross the waters of our challenges.

11-Pres. Eyring: Preparation in the Priesthood: I Need Your Help (priesthood)

As you know, the Aaronic Priesthood is designated as a preparatory priesthood. The great majority of Aaronic Priesthood holders are young deacons, teachers, and priests between 12 and 19 years of age.

We may come to think of priesthood preparation as occurring in the Aaronic Priesthood years. But our Heavenly Father has been preparing us since we were taught at His knee in His kingdom before we were born. He is preparing us tonight. And He will continue to prepare us as long as we will let Him.

The purpose of all priesthood preparation, in the premortal life and in this life, is to fit us, and those we serve for Him, for eternal life. Some of the first lessons in the premortal life surely included the plan of salvation, with Jesus Christ and His Atonement at its center. We were not only taught the plan but were in councils where we chose it.

12-Pres. Thomas S. Monson: Dare to Stand Alone (courage)

We must conduct our lives so that we are ever worthy of the priesthood we bear. We live in a time when we are surrounded by much that is intended to entice us into paths which may lead to our destruction. To avoid such paths requires determination and courage.

We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. Do we have the moral courage to stand firm for our beliefs, even if by so doing we must stand alone?

As we marched away, I thought of the words of a rhyme I had learned in Primary years before:

  Dare to be a Mormon;
  Dare to stand alone.
  Dare to have a purpose firm;
  Dare to make it known.

Once we have a testimony, it is incumbent upon us to share that testimony with others. Many of you brethren have served as missionaries throughout the world. Many of you young men will yet serve. Prepare yourselves now for that opportunity. Make certain you are worthy to serve.

 13-Pres. Henry B Eyring: A Witness (baptism)

Every member of the Church has the same sacred charge. We accepted it and promised to rise to it as we were baptized.

First, we promised to become charitable. Second, we promised to become witnesses of God. And third, we promised to endure. The Book of Mormon is the best guide to learn how well we are doing and how to do better.

14-Elder Robert D. Hales: They Will Be Done: Waiting Upon the Lord (pioneers)

I have often pondered, Why is it that the Son of God and His holy prophets and all the faithful Saints have trials and tribulations, even when they are trying to do Heavenly Father’s will? Why is it so hard, especially for them?

I think of our pioneer forebears, driven from Nauvoo and crossing the plains, exercising their agency to follow a prophet even as they suffered sickness, privation, and some even death. Why such terrible tribulation? To what end? For what purpose?

The purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.”

 What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

15-Elder M. Russell Ballard: The Importance of a Name (The Churchi of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

The Lord Jesus Christ knew how important it was to clearly name His Church in these latter days. In the 115th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, He Himself named the Church: “For thus shall my church be called in the last days, even The Church of Jesus Christt of Latter-day Saints”

Let us develop the habit … of making it clear that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the name by which the Lord Himself has directed that we be known.

16-Pres. Thomas S Monson: Stand in Holy Places (prayer)

Communication with our Father in Heaven—including our prayers to Him and His inspiration to us—is necessary in order for us to weather the storms and trials of life.

Although the world has changed, the laws of God remain constant. They have not changed; they will not change. The Ten Commandments are just that—commandments. They are not suggestions. They are every bit as requisite today as they were when God gave them to the children of Israel.

As a means of being in the world but not being of the world, it is necessary that we communicate with our Heavenly Father through prayer. He wants us to do so; He’ll answer our prayers.

17-Elder Russell M. Nelson: Covenants (sacrament)

At baptism we covenant to serve the Lord and keep His commandments. When we partake of the sacrament, we renew that covenant and declare our willingness to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ. Thereby we are adopted as His sons and daughters and are known as brothers and sisters. He is the father of our new life. Ultimately, in the holy temple, we may become joint heirs to the blessings of an eternal family, as once promised to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and their posterity. Thus, celestial marriage is the covenant of exaltation.
When we realize that we are children of the covenant, we know who we are and what God expects of us. His law is written in our hearts. He is our God and we are His people. Committed children of the covenant remain steadfast, even in the midst of adversity. When that doctrine is deeply implanted in our hearts, even the sting of death is soothed and our spiritual stamina is strengthened.

The greatest compliment that can be earned here in this life is to be known as a covenant keeper.

18-Elder Dallin H Oaks: Teachings of Jesus (resurrection)

The culmination of our Savior’s mortal ministry was His Resurrection and His Atonement for the sins of the world.


And so we understand that the Atonement of Jesus Christ gives us the opportunity to overcome the spiritual death that results from sin and, through making and keeping sacred covenants, to have the blessings of eternal life.

Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten and Beloved Son of God. He is our Creator. He is the Light of the World. He is our Savior from sin and death. This is the most important knowledge on earth, and you can know this for yourself, as I know it for myself. The Holy Ghost, who testifies of the Father and the Son and leads us into truth, has revealed these truths to me, and He will reveal them to you. The way is desire and obedience. As to desire, Jesus taught, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7). As to obedience, He taught, “if any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17).

19-Elder Quentin L Cook: The Songs They Could Not Sing (Jesus Christ)

While we do not know all the answers, we do know important principles that allow us to face tragedies with faith and confidence that there is a bright future planned for each of us. Some of the most important principles are:

First, we have a Father in Heaven, who knows and loves us personally and understands our suffering perfectly.

Second, His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and Redeemer, whose Atonement not only provides for salvation and exaltation but also will compensate for all the unfairness of life.

Third, the Father’s plan of happiness for His children includes not only a premortal and mortal life but also an eternal life as well, including a great and glorious reunion with those we have lost. All wrongs will be righted, and we will see with perfect clarity and faultless perspective and understanding.

20-Pres. Thomas S. Monson: Until We Meet Again (home)

Conference is now over. As we return to our homes, may we do so safely. May we find all has been well during our absence. May the spirit we have felt here be and abide with us as we go about those things which occupy us each day. May we show increased kindness one toward another. May we ever be found doing the work of the Lord.

May heaven’s blessings be with you. May your homes be filled with harmony and love. May you constantly nourish your testimonies, that they might be a protection for you against the adversary.

I love you; I pray for you. I would ask once again that you would remember me and all the General Authorities in your prayers. We are one with you in moving forward this marvelous work. I testify to you that we are all in this together and that every man, woman, and child has a part to play. May God give us the strength and the ability and the determination to play our part well.