Last weekend we had a special Stake Conference. Sunday morning as I was sitting there waiting for the meeting to start, the Stake President let me know that I might be called upon to speak. After a little while, one of the counselor's told me the same thing. Then executive secretary did, and my brother-in-law who is the other counselor came over and I told him I had already been warned. He just wanted to let me know he had not been the one to suggest my name for "the list." I wonder how many others were on the list and if they were similarly warned. In the end, no one extra was called, so I was off the hook, so to speak. However, for most of the meeting I pondered and squirmed and couldn't figure out what to say. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I do not enjoy being in front of people (and since we had a General Authority there, the place was more packed than usual), so I was surprised to find that the reason I was glad not to have to get up was not because of my natural dislike for being the center of attention, but because I was afraid they wouldn't get out of me what they were hoping for. I might have given an apology for my blessings instead of showing gratitude.
I knew the reason I was one of the one's on "the list." Almost 6 months ago, my 21 year old boy who has Asperger's syndrome and couldn't serve a proselyting mission, started his 2 years as a family history missionary. Then about a month ago, my oldest got married for time and all eternity to his fiancée in the Salt Lake Temple. Six days after that, my 19 year old left for the MTC for his 2 week training before being sent out on a proselyting mission. The last 6 months have been amazing. But I didn't want to share that. Not there, anyway.
I am (sometimes) very conscious of those who do not share the same blessings I have. I guess I could have born my basic testimony of God, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, the Church of Jesus Christ, and Thomas S. Monson. People didn't need to know the specifics of why I was asked...yet I felt since that was why I was asked that that's what they wanted me to talk about.
The problem reminds me of the Relief Society's "Good News Minute" where each Sunday a few minutes would be taken for sisters to share their good news with the others. That was done away with because instead of engendering a bond, it made certain wounds more sore. How do you face people stating each week how wonderful their lives are when yours is falling apart?
How can I state I love my husband to a group where many may wish to be married but aren't--or are recent widows--or have husbands that aren't what they should be? How can I talk about my children who are currently doing what they should (though who knows in a few years if that will still be the case) when so many don't have children or their children have passed away or are wayward?
Yes, some are strengthened by such sharing--it gives them hope even if they aren't currently enjoying those blessings. But for some, it's just a time for Satan to rub salt in their wounds by having reminding them of blessings that they wish to have or used to have, but don't anymore.
Political correctness can go too far, yet we should be sensitive to those around us. Where do you draw the line?
Should I not be grateful for my blessings? Definitely, but maybe in a more private arena and not always at the pulpit.
So, I'm not sure what I would have said last Sunday. I think it's a good thing that I didn't have the chance to find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment